The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
