i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
