he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
