is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
third nipple confirmed
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
