areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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