your thong is hanging out like whoa
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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