We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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