All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
