my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
