I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
