I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
