we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
