weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
