she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
