I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
