he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
