I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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