Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
