I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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