He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
