he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
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we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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