Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
