you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
