Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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