You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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