i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
PS: I just woke up from my shower
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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