3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
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just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
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I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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