She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize