There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I booty called her while she was in labor.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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