i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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