One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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