Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
