I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
