I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
