In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
