Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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