She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
