apparently the secret to your success is patron
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
