so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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