So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize