You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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