If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
