My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
