Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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