She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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