It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
