well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
