My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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