i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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