i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
