This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
