And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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