If i come over, it means nothing
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™