elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
