I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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