but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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