piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
