bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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