Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
